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Millwall 3-2 Leeds ~ Match Report

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Ahh yes, that time of the season is upon whereby we welcome the shaven baboons from Yorkshire down to our manor and, in the time honoured fashion, bank the three points and send them back oop north with a smacked arse and the sound of our laughter ringing in their cauliflower ears.

Me and MrsB had the pleasure of our grandson Jack for company as we parked up the Bonemobile and made our way to the Millwall Café for some grub before the match and we were surprised to see so few cozzers on duty but then, of course, there was no real need for too many as the norvern monkies are all perfectly incapable of finding their way out of Leeds and therefore have to be put on their special buses to get them to the game…

Leeds is a big city but the collective population would have trouble reaching a three figure IQ if you combined the whole lot of them but they do manage to grunt in unison every now and then so maybe they are not a completely lost cause to the human race, are they?

Of course they are, they are sub human and as such should not be encouraged to think they are people. I once knew a girl from Leeds and her pitiful boast that she was the first person in her family to be born without a tail probably sums them up.

I used to wonder why, in the kingdom of the animal world, some species would kill and eat their children but having seen Leeds fans I can fully understand why this happens…


A packed out Den, the sun shining, a 3D programme and a lame pup of an opponent, it all added up to a fabulous day out in South East London and as the teams came out on the pitch the crescendo of noise was rising to a remarkable level.

Mr Jackett had chosen carefully for this encounter and the team lined up as follows: Forde in goal, Smith, Ward, Robbo and Craig across the back, Henry, Trotter, Mkandawire and Townsend in midfield with Lisbie and Morison as the two front men.

Referee Mathieson got us going and we were straight at their throats, forcing a couple of quick corners in succession as we looked to make a positive start but the first effort on goal came from a dubious attempt at conning the ref as Gradel, clearly off side, tried to make out he was oblivious to the lino’s flag and fourteen thousand voices advising him of his status, but even then Forde flamboyantly saved, just for pure entertainment value.


Moments after this we had Tony Craig pushing the ball down the left side of the pitch and as O Brien tried to control the ball he had one eye on the marauding Morison and Morro’s presence was clearly enough to spook the hapless defender who stood on the ball and fell arse over head leaving Morison to collect gratefully and head towards goal. The big striker honed in on the Leeds goal but was just denied a strike at the last moment by a timely tackle from a covering defender.


But the place lit up soon after this as we continued to press forward and Referee Mathieson had no choice but to award us a free kick just outside the box as Lisbie was brought crashing down by a clumsy challenge.

James Henry took control and as the crowd waited in tense anticipation he curled in an tremendous shot that Schmeichel floundering like a flapping fool as the ball flew into the back of the net. 1-0! Cue mayhem as the place erupted and the toothless gurning Yorkshire men in the north upper did their best impressions of Cistercian monks…they are the silent ones, as if you needed telling…

Townsend was giving their defence a torrid time now and he really was a handful. James Henry was also doing his thing down the right flank and with Trotter and Mkandawire again bossing the midfield, it all looked like the makings of a usual home game against the dirty ones.

Just over five minutes after our opening goal we doubled our lead. It was a simple goal, worked simply and applied simply as Townsend looped over a corner to the waiting Trotter who was left all alone in the six yard box. He simply turned his foot to the ball and guided it into the net. 2-0!! Wonderful stuff!! The crowd was now threatening to lift the roofs off as the lions strutted their stuff in the glorious sunshine.

Leeds now reverted to type and started kicking lumps out of any Millwall player in range and Lisbie took a nasty whack and was forced off so Mr Jackett had no hesitation in bringing on Bomber to a rousing reception.

Dirty Leeds continued their filthy tactics and in particular, Snodgrass who was given a yellow card and then minutes later clearly elbowed Tony Craig which should surely have seen Referee Mathieson brandish a red but for some obscure reason just gave out a severe finger wagging instead.

The first half ended with the Lions still calling the shots and Leeds looking like a badly scolded puppy.

The second half saw Leeds boss Grayson make a change and he took off Snodgrass who had clearly lost the plot and brought on Somma and their clear plan was to bombard us from the off and try to get something back and as a basic tactic it actually paid off but more by luck than judgement as within five minutes of the restart a hopeful punt across our box saw the ball fall kindly for Becchio who did his best to miss hit the ball but it still managed to creep into the net. 2-1

This lucky break gave Leeds a revived bit of optimism and they had the temerity to think they might actually equalise as Gradel hit a decent shot that Forde did extremely well to save but in truth the steam soon evaporated out of the visitors and we again took control and started to put the screws on them big time.

Townsend was revelling in his role and he was positively tormenting the left side of Leeds and when he played in Harris and he spotted Morison in seemed a goal would surely be the outcome but the ball spun awkwardly off Bomber’s boot and the chance was gone.

But on the hour mark our superiority shone through as Henry made himself some room just outside the box and hit a stinging shot that deflected into Morison’s path and this time he got there first and calmly flicked the ball past the hapless Schmeichel and into the net. 3-1!!! Order had been restored and now it was time to celebrate.

It was exhibition stuff now as we simply ripped them apart. Henry was given a chance after excellent work between Trotter and Morison but his final shot missed the target and then Harris really should, by his own standards, added the deserved fourth. He was on the end of a perfect ball from Henry but put the ball over the bar from about eight yards out.

Henry again made Schmeichel work hard as he took a free kick from what looked like about 40 yards out which he hit like an exocet missile and then poor old Bomber missed an absolute sitter when the impressive Townsend whipped over a pin point cross only for the record breaking striker to head it wide of the mark with the goal at his mercy.


The Olé’s were by now ringing out around the ground as we played the ball around with aplomb and Mr Jackett took off Townsend to rapturous applause and sent Bouazza on to continue the torment for the final few minutes.

With four minutes of added time to play we saw Mr Jackett make his final change with McQuoid coming on for Morison but he no time to get involved really but it was good to see him on the pitch again.

Just before the final whistle went Leeds had a throw in down the right side and as the ball was launched into our box the defence had clearly switched as the ball was headed over Forde and bundled into the net for a second Leeds goal but the travelling fans who, I begrudgingly admit, stayed to the bitter end, hardly made any noise at all as they knew their team had been soundly beaten.

So referee Mathieson called time and the three points were safely in the bag as expected and the play off push continues unabated as we now line up Bristol City in our sights for a Tuesday night encounter that should see the Den rocking all over again.

See you all there?
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