Why would anyone want to support and watch crystal Palace on a regular basis? I cant understand why, can you? Although selhurst park is surrounded by housing, itís quite rare to see anyone emerging from their terraced hovels, (surely the area HAS to be twinned with that other architectural wasteland, Gillingham?) to walk across the road and actually watch the rubbish that passes for football at palace. So, where DO their fans come from?
Well, they are a designer club, so presumably their hardcore supporters are from well to do parts of Surrey, complimented by the layabouts from local Croydon. It seems inconceivable that anyone would travel more than five miles to watch them, unless of course they are given an alternative that they donít fancy. With that in mind, here is my list of five things I would rather do than watch palace.
1. The washing up Ė yep, although I occasionally do it, Iím not a fan, but the idea seems almost exciting as an alternative to watching the Eagles!
2. Mow the lawn....ok the Wifeís been going on all month about the length of the grass, so whatís it to be? Pop up to Selhurst Park or try and re-create an imaginative mowing pattern on the lawn? Iíll get the Qualcast out!
3. Mother in law is visiting......hmm, a close call really. Listen to the old bat going on about how her Daughter could have done so much better or sit on the Holmesdale listening to the twat in the plastic raincoat, flat cap and national health glasses banging on about the glory days of the Eagles? Sheís not such a bad old girl really, is she!?
4. Shopping with the Wife. This is a difficult one. Head down to Selhurst Park and watch Stern John, Lee Andrew and their mates redefine mediocrity or suffer the Wife browsing through the lingerie section of British Home Stores, where sheíll go for the Ďsensibleí pair of knickers rather than the skimpy satin pair youíd like to see her in? Maybe I could have a browse through the menís section whilst sheís damaging my credit card on yet another dress!
5. Watch Millwall. Well, this is a bit of a no brainer isnít it? Letís examine the differences. Go to Millwall and watch a bunch of players that will give 300%, backed by the noisiest crowd in London in a fantastic atmosphere or travel to watch palace, which even if I lived in or near the ground is a mission to get to, and watch them whilst listening to the raindrops hitting the pitch? Come on you LIONS!!