• A particularly northern disease - A doctor writes by Dr N. Dawn MD

    You may recall that a short time ago I sounded a warning to sufferers of Millwallitis Rollercoasteritis about the dangers they were facing in the light of recent results. Be clear - this danger has only become more severe in the 24 hours.

    However, be thankful because there are far more virulent and insidious diseases which a football supporter can contract. For example, my surgery is filled to bursting at the moment with people in cloth caps smelling oddly of whippets. These poor unfortunates have all suddenly gone down with the highly-contagious Leedsunitidis Upthereownarseis. Normally the only indication that one is infected is to get upset about the wearing of Turkish football team shirts taking one's mind off songs about aircraft incidents. However suddenly, at around the same time each year, the disease flares and converts the sufferer from a cocky, arrogant piece of shit into a depressed, angry.....piece of shit. Symptoms include blaming everyone but themselves, harking back to non-existent successes of yesteryear and the endless wittering: "but, we are a big club".

    There is no cure.

    NewDawn MD