• Laugh? We Nearly Shat! (from old HoF)

    A thread began on CC recently where people quoted incidents of the past that had people in stitches while watching a game. Some of them were far too good to let disappear, so I'm snipping a few of them to put here.
    I'll kick off with one of my own: Paul Neve: It was quite recent, but we faced Northampton (I think) midweek. Anyway, half way through the game the lights went out. Nothing that unusual, you might think -- except whatever caused the blackout also had the effect of activating the sprinkler system. Said sprinkler system being in the goalmouth, which meant that poor old Tim Carter got a soaking.
    various contributors: We were playing Luton, winning with 15 min left when one floodlight went out. That c**t Foster (he never had a first name) with the headband grabbed the ref and got the game halted. Everyone stood there in darkness untill an electrician could be see climbing the floodlight. After some time all the lights came back on and the whole ground started singing "there's only one electrician!"
    What had actually happened was the generator on the Floodlights went and we were left with the back up power.
    Foster + his mates felt that the reserve lighting was not good enough but the ref thought otherwise and allowed the match to finish.
    I think that Foster & co got pelted with coins when they left the pitch. I bet that taught him.
    The manager who accused Millwall of cheating that night was a certain Ray Harford!
    ajc: What about goalkeeper Tony Norman when playing for Sunderland at the den about 10 years ago?
    He scored an own goal trying to push a simple cross over the bar.
    For the next hour of the game every song contained the name Norman instead of Millwall from the whole ground.
    "nice one Norman, nice one son, nice one Norman lets have another one" (nice one cyril)
    Leslie Welsh: I remember a night game in the late 60's around Guy Fawkes night. Someone in the CBL threw a banger behind the goal as a corner came across & the Cardiff full back sliced the ball into his own goal. Oh we did laugh.
    rh: We played some Swiss team. It was Karl Heinz Watsits' last ever game in the UK. 3000 fans in the pissing rain and one of their blokes goes round four Wall players before hitting the ball so hard it hits the back of the net and comes out again! Fuckin' ref says play on! It was the best goal I've ever seen!
    Same game all 3000 Wall giving it "is that all you take away?" to the one steward in the Ilderton Road end.
    Ant Meads: Not sure if it's true but apparently we had a friendly against some Russian team years ago at the Old Den. The players took to the field and over the tannoy came the English national anthem. Afterwards the Russians stood with hands on hearts only for the tannoy bloke to play Ra Ra Rasputin!
    Various contributors: What about the 1 man protest against Port Vale when that bloke sat in the centre circle? After a half of utter tedium and incompetence from the Lions on the pitch this well dressed, professional looking chap -- an older version of Andy May, meaning we all dubbed him "Andy May's Dad" -- wandered onto the pitch. The ref and stewards went up to him and he waved them away, giving off the air that he was some kind of official about to make an announcement. He did make an announcement -- he strolled over to the center circle and sat down in a one-man protest! He got the biggest cheer all day.
    Gazza: Coming out of Sheff Wed after losing 2-1 in 90-91 when we had just blown promotion but looked a safe bet for the playoffs.
    There was a Mounted police officer at the bottom of some steps and his Horse reacted when a cry of Millllwall went up.
    Everyone saw and we all gave another great cry of Millllwall and the Horse lifted up on two legs, but the copper got it back under control.
    Encouraged by this we all let rip with a real loud Millllwalll and the Horse went up again even higher this time and we were sure he was gonna throw the copper off, but no he hung on and brought the horse under control.
    So everyone just vented one of the loudest Milllllwallls you are ever gonna hear and the Horse went right up in the air and over the perpendicular and the copper fell off and the horse came down on top of him.
    A loud cheer rang out, victory on a day of defeat. The Copper then sprang to his feet almost as quick as the horse and pulled out his trucheon took up and agressive crouching postion and shouted "Come on you cunts" to the four or five hundred Millwall fans in earshot.
    Being right at the front I made direct eye contact with the bloke and could see that his was shit scared and certain we were about to tear him lim from lim.
    No one made a sound for a second, then most of us started laughing and the tension was broken.
    A couple of other mounted police officers made their way through the crowd and one of them grabbed my mate by his hair and lifted up on to his tip toes. He told him to move on and let him go then told his dismounted college to calm down and pull himself together.
    Hurlock moments (various contributors):
    Does anybody remember Terry Hurlock chinning that flash git Scott McGarvey at the Old Den. Getting sent off and clapping the Coldblow on his way off. Against Grimsby I think, made me laugh -- McGarvey was spark out!
    Or on the "Warlock's" return at the New Den getting sent off in his first match, quickly followed by Pat Van den Hauwe. Pat was running from defence with the ball at his feet, being chased by opposing forward and decided the best way to deal with said forward was to elbow him full in the face, right in front of the ref!!
    Wasn't that the same game that Alex Rae chinned one of the Leicester players off the ball and got away with it. Then the Leicester player decided to have a pop off the ball at Alex at the same time as one of the Millwall players was fouled. In the handbags that followed the ref shouted "Off, Off!" for the off the ball incident and the Leicester player that commited the foul thought it was aimed at him as well. He left the pitch for five minutes before someone told him he hadn't been sent off at all.
    Billy the Punter: Gavin Peacock went over to take a throw-in a few years back.
    A fan shouted "Oi, Peacock you ain't as good as your old man!"
    Then another fan piped up "He ain't as good as MY old man!"